kelsey l. smoot / poem

sonnet for the indecisive

trans math is realizing at thirty

that you like boys as much as you are one

meaning a lot, and not really at all

meaning maybe I never believed in

this ungodly mess of prefab bodies

can you truly call it a transition

when you exist as both—also neither

maybe the future is genderfucked, not

female like we’d hoped that it would be and

maybe since the rules are made up I can

retire that little part of me that

still balks when someone calls me beautiful

still wonders if I’m going through a phase

as if that makes me any less human

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Kelsey L. Smoot (They/Them/He/Him) is a full-time PhD student in the interdisciplinary social sciences and humanities. They are also a poet, advocate, and frequent writer of critical analysis. Kelsey's debut chapbook, we was bois together, is forthcoming with CLASH! an Imprint of Mouthfeel Press.